Rejoice fans and romantics, it’s that time again. Valentine’s Day is simply around the corner, and for most men that means nothing until February 13th. The majority of you know how I feel about Valentine’s Day … if not, you can check out last year’s post: Valentine’s Day Draws (just the title should sum it up quite perfectly).
I have an extremely tough time supporting a holiday that was entirely comprised by females and Trademark at the expenditure of males. There is no factor you need to love somebody more one day from the year. So if your girlfriend isn’t the coolest and realizes this day is a total farce, then sit back and take note and you might simply find out a thing or 2 about exactly what not to provide your Valentine …
1. Sketcher’s Shape-Up Shoes – this is a bad present on so many levels. You might too write on the card: “Dear Chunks, Since you are too lazy to do any sort of physical activity, I thought I would utilize the something you do from the couch to the fridge … walk. Smooches– Your Future Ex-Boyfriend.” Also, if Kim Kardashian or Joe Montana cannot pull them off, nobody can.
2. Jan Seymour’s Open Hearts Collection from Kay Jewlers – Every time this commercial begins I wish to at the same time bitch slap Dr. Quinn and whoever believed her dragon like pendent was a smart idea.
3. Engagement Ring – Since that is sooo cliché.
4. Flowers – Because they are expensive and pass away in a week … you may too simply light your cash on fire. Plus I have a hard time investing money on something that I can steal from my next-door neighbors garden, or your regional cemetery for free.
5. Gift Card – The hardest part about going to the regional Ralph’s and browsing the present card kiosk is trying to pick in between the dozens of choices … it resembles aiming to determine which Natalie Portman movie to see this weekend. Nothing states impersonal like a present card. She will implicate you of being inconsiderate and not knowing her at all.
6. Bumpits – never ever mind … these are pretty legitimate. It really does offer you immediate volume effortlessly.
7. A Tattoo – If you really want to remain together with your loved one, I would avoid the long-term body art … Couple’s tattoos are the kiss of death for any relationship. And it is extremely difficult to discuss why you have another female’s name on your chest when you hit the songs circuit.
8. Vacuum – Since it sucks … get it? Seriously though, stay away from any present that makes your spouse or sweetheart work. It makes you look demeaning and chauvinistic. That would resemble her getting you a penis pump … which also draws.
9. The Notebook – Your sweetheart might really like this, but Nicholas Triggers has a funny way of screwing over people. This fictional author knows females are suckers for a romantic tale … and it will just make her marvel why you don’t take her for canoe rides in swan filled lakes.
10. A connect to my blog site – That is like a magician handing out his secrets! , if she finds out you have been getting all your dating suggestions from a douche writer who can’t even spell principles right you are dead in the water.
Have you received a dreadful Valentine’s Day gift? Post a remark listed below …